In Seattle, Week 3 of our Saucony Originals Summer Office Sports League (aka: SOSO Sports) was an especially brutal week as we had our very first BLOODY INJURY!

This week, we combined teams to make for one large-tastic game of Capture the Flag.

So, it was THE BUMBERSHOOT HOT DOGS vs. TEAM EVERYONE ELSE. The Hot Dogs seemed to have the initial disadvantage with sore legs from a previous softball game and yellow shirts that had no chance at passing as camoflauge. Or maybe we were just hoping that the melting pot of Frog Design, Seattle Weekly, and “Quilty as KEXP” would show everyone that it doesn’t matter what (color/shirt) you (are/have on), we can all come together and through hard work and cooperation, (come out victorious/achieve world peace)! Aaaauuuuhhhh… no.

Seriously, Hot Dogs, you guys are souped up like Barry Bonds. Taking 2 games out of 2.75 (Game 3 was cut short when resident superhero Kiah Patzkowsky took a mighty spill on the kryptonite pavement while fighting enemy combatants), our Bumbershoot pals (Check out this year’s lineup! Insane! www.bumbershoot.org) have once again emerged undefeated.

Team Everyone Else, you have to admit, you’re getting your asses handed to you on a very shiny platter. It’s your dignity, not mine. I’m juss sayin’.

Pics of the fun/carnage below:

Last Wednesday, we mighty Hot Dogs predictably continued our winning streak, making us the only undefeated team in the league, and therefore honorary masters of Seattle media, for another fortnight at least.

After leaving the supposedly ‘cool’ folk of KEXP as so much smoldering hipster rubble, we set our sights on the green menace of Frog Design, asking ourselves only two questions: what the hell does Frog Design do and how can we destroy them? It turns out the answer to the second question was Frog Design itself, as their game was plagued with countless fielding errors, whereas the Hot Dog defense (which sounds like an obscure chess tactic, but isn’t) remained nearly impregnable, only allowing 4 runs, more out of mercy than anything else, to the 23 runs we Bumbershoot warriors claimed.

With our fearless leader Michele absent from the sidelines, the Hot Dogs could have crumbled (or fallen out of their buns, as it were), but we instead rallied behind our flaxen-haired ringer Mike, batting a thousand for the day and laying a swath of yellow domination in his path. We remaining Hot Dogs were only too eager to follow. And that path led to victory my friends, sweet victory.

Our mighty team watched the green-shirted opponents imbibing on conciliatory libations at The Hurricane after the game, becoming drunker and drunker on liquor, instead of the grand glory we were swathed in for the night. We then could only feel sorry for the next team that might cross our path. We are coming for you, Seattle Weekly. And we show no mercy.

First of all, we’d like to say we’re proud of all the teams for persevering through the freak wind on what was an otherwise hot and sexy Seattle day.

Second, I’m especially proud of Joe of Team Frog Design for holding down his bidness while his team traipsed slowly down to the field after gorging themselves on pizza. Frog Design! You were late! And you left Joe as the only green shirt anywhere in sight. For shame. Next time, the other teams get to hit whiffle balls at you.

Alright, onto Whiffle Ball Whirlwind Round TWO!

On Field One, we had the losers bracket, KEXP versus the Seattle Week-lings (just kidding, everyone’s a winner in whiffle ball!!). To be honest, while we enjoyed the game, we didn’t watch too closely as we were more impressed by the Week-lings team manager, one Debbie Porter, and her highly organized lineup clipboard. Very impressive, Debbie. You can manage our team anytime (if you know what I mean… what?).

Maneuvering KEXP’s 5-3 win over the Week-lings were Quilty with 2 no-hit innings and 5 strikeouts, Nate’s magical (yes, MAGICAL) pitching to get him out of a bases loaded jam, and Rachel’s game winning 2 RBIs. Congrats! However, it would be a shame not to recognize the Week-lings for their expert smack talk. “Hit the ball at their heads!” Simply awe-inspiring.

Over at Field Two, someone was going to lose their perfect record (but seriously, again, all winners!). But what was it going to take? Would Frogger’s Marieke Watson aka “The Dutch Wonder” save the day with her rookie optimism? Was fellow Frogger Aaron Kelly’s crawl to third base to make an out enough to inspire his team to victory? The answer is no. Turns out the Bumbershoot Hot Dogs unleashed their secret weapon. His name is Mike, and he hit for a triple, two doubles, and three singles. Final score: Hot Dogs over Frogs, 23-4 or 9-5 depending on who you ask.

MVP of the week: KEXP’s West for playing with a friggin’ broken vertebrae!

Check out the pics! Notice the color segregation! Let’s mix those colors, Seattle. Love, not Jesse Helms!

So, you may have figured out by now that our hyper-competitive Saucony Originals Summer Office Sports League (SOSO Sports League) is little more than an excuse to have some low-impact post-work fun, followed by high impact post-game booze.

So where have we been boozin’? Why, The Hurricane of course! You probably know where it is, but if you don’t…

(don’t puke on the shoes, guys…)

THANK YOU HURRICANE FOR MAKING ALL OUR WASTED DREAMS COME TRUE!!!!!!!!

The wind was strong that day, chilling to the bone. But neither the wind, nor the KEXP team, could deter we mighty Bumbershoot Hot Dogs from what we came to the Seattle Center to do: WIN.

As we tossed the ball back and forth before the game, we could feel our blood begin to boil, despite the approaching gusts. Our eyes grew wide, then red, finally retreating to slits as we focused in on our prey and eventual conquest. We knew none could stand in our path, regardless of DJing skills.

We took the field enthusiastically, with impenetrable defenses repelling all KEXP attempts at scoring. This was our field, and we made certain they knew it. With repeated catches, beans, and strike outs, we Hot Dogs set the tone of the game. At bat we were a force. Our line drives and aggressive base running tested KEXP’s limits of how much abuse one orange-shirted team could take.

When Peter ‘Sweet &’ Lowe stepped up to the plate, we knew it was finally over for our record spinning opponents. As he banished the ball into the stratosphere with a hollow thwack, he brought home the solitary run of the game, ushering in our thus-far perfect record.

We only feel sorry for the next team with the audacity to oppose us, for we are less a team now, and more a staunch athletic machine, without weakness or mercy.

Go Hot Dogs!

(Credits: Aubbie, photos / Evan, prose / Mike, nicknames / Shaun, smack talk)