Team Saucony isn’t your typical sports team. It’s a league of true Originals. It’s a place to come together and play the sort of sports that don’t require cleats, pads or helmets. It’s less about the goals you score, and more about the hang.
TOC Coaching Time: You guys give me a heart on
by timeout
Alright team; take a knee.
Time Outers, I just wanna start by saying that I was proud of each and every one of you Biting Wits out there today. You all hustled to the bases and showed tremendous support for one another on the field. I remember thinking to myself, at one point, “There’s no way they’re going to catch that ball.” But then you caught it. And not only that, but you threw it into the infield. At times, you hit it with a yellow stick—or, as I learned last night, a whiffle bat. It’s no surprise we achieved a glorious victory over our Threadless enemies.
But unfortunately, Threadless scored more runs. So that victory is only a victory of the heart.
Boy, was there a lot of heart. And by heart, I mean drinking. Tim, you were so dedicated that you brought your beer out with you into the outfield. I want to thank you for that. Your example shined all the way over to shortstop, where I did the same thing mere innings later.
January, it took a lot of heart to tell your son not to pee in the bushes, but instead to hold it until he got somewhere more sanitary. That kind of dedication to cleanliness is sure to win us games down the line, assuming the games involve cleaning of some kind. Plus, if there’s one thing us heartful people know more about than drinking, it’s peeing.
And to the rest of you too numerous to mention, who filled your water guns with heart and shot that heart all over your opponents’ chests later that night at the heart-dispensery; a special - heartfelt even - word of thanks. Thank you for boldly demonstrating that we, the Time Out Chicago Biting Wit, know our way around a bar.
Sorry to cut this short, but I have to take my heart medicine.
Great job out there guys. We’ll get them next week. Maybe. If You’re Bored, It’s Not Our Fault on three: One. Two. Three!
Tags: ass-handing-to, Chicago, coaching, losing graciously, Threadless, Time Out Chicago
