Once more, we continue our path towards glory. Last week’s game against Time Out Chicago marked our third straight victory.

We have it on good authority (from our Swedish pal) that Kubb is played after barbeques all over Sweden, all summer, by blond, blue-eyed Viking descendents mellowed by generations of complacent city dwelling into thinking that lobbing blocks of wood towards other blocks of wood is an electrifying way to spend an hour or so. Okay, we might have added on a bit there.

Garin throws the first toss:

Matt lobbs a stick towards Time Out’s blocks (which isn’t nearly as dirty as it sounds):

Theresa, Colin, Joey, Garin, Hollis and Max share a laugh at the other team’s paltry throwing:

And Alan, free Sparks in hand, shows how to win through creativity, by hiding a block behind the untouchable King:

Okay, so we didn’t keep it there. But we won three straight games anyway.

Matt, Theresa and Hollis demonstrate how the game is won:

You can view all the pictures here.

Threadless, after the drinking session at the Clipper afterwards, we hope you’re on your guard for some heavy competition both on the field and in the bar…

defeated!

Who in the what now? Team Shark Attacks fell to the undefeated Total F*cking Nightmare Storm during the Kubb matchup. We had no idea was Kubb was. All we knew was that it looked like an item that you could buy in Ikea next to the frozen Swedish meatballs.

Turns out it was less annoying than Bocce Ball and more fun than Cornhole. If Kubb is truly a Viking game, then I should of prepped by playing a good ‘ol fashioned round of Crossbows and Catapults.

Team Shark Attacks unsure of the murky water ahead

Rannell throws a mean wood.

Can you handle the flash AND the pressure, mr. photographer? CAN YOU?!?!?!?

Clayton makes a big play. Lizelle is the only one somewhat interested.

If I’ve learned anything from Lost, it is to throw together or die alone.

So we all puffed out our chests a little bit after our game of Capture the Flag last month against WXRT. That is not to say they didn’t give us a run for our money… “Coaching” from the sidelines, aka sitting on my butt, was like watching some nature program on NOVA. I’ve never seen my crew so exhausted from running for their lives. Reality entertainment at its best. I just wish we had some videos from this game. Excited to see how we do during the ever popular KUBB, “an outdoor Viking game for all ages.” Sounds right up our alley…

We hesitate to use words like “dominate,” “slaughter,” and phrases like “wiped the floor with them,” but that’s what we’ve done the past two games on our inevitable domination of the tournament. Kind of like Julius Caesar’s ending the Republic, or the barbarians’ takeover of Rome, if you will. (See. You just learned something.)

First up, there was Whiffleball against the hapless WXRT:  

How can you compete against a 5′0 superstar like Garin?

Josh, Adam, Joey and Garin watch in awe…

…as Alan hits it out of the field:

Then Max scores a home run:

And gets a genuine man-hug from Joey in celebration. Look closely; this is not often documented on camera:

But the real success of the night was at the California Clipper:

[L->R: Theresa, Josh, Max, Hollis, Adam, Joey, Garin, Alan, Matt]

We managed to — quelle suprise! — out-drink everyone else. What a way to start a work week.

[View all the photos here.]

Next, we maimed UR Chicago during Capture The Flag. Literally.

Hollis runs at the speed of light:

Theresa attempts to get someone out by kicking them (unsuccessfully):

But no matter. Not only did we win, we discovered the open bar tab covers everything — including shots for [clockwise from left] Hollis, Adam, Garin, Theresa, Joey, Brian and Max:

And that sometimes, wonderful people even get us pizza to go with our drinks:

[View all the photos here.]

Not only did we blow through our own allotment of money for the open bar, we also used up the rest of UR Chicago’s tab. What – they’re not professional drinkers?

So we continue the push to defeat all the other teams and secure ultimate victory (and an open bar) for ourselves. In the meantime, if you’re reading this in Miami, NYC, Los Angeles, Honolulu, or San Francisco, go treat yourself to a free drink tonight. It’s on us.

White people (and, I’m going out on a limb here — other 20- and 30-something city-dwellers), like to play children’s games as adults.

So who wants to play Red Rover with the MyOpenBarbarians? We promise we won’t hurt you… much.