In an unprecedented showing, the Mighty Walthomes stormed the Commons Tuesday evening and whipped some little girl’s butts at SPUD. No, seriously.

SPUD. We don’t know what it actually stands for…but we know how to kick some butt at it! Ok, so maybe the teams weren’t fair….but winning is not always about fairness. And we really, REALLY needed to win a game.

So when Maddy “watch out she’s vicious” Shedno opened the game with a 90 mile-an-hour kickball to the groin of the unsuspecting opponents, things got heated fast. Not to be shown up, Jeff “don’t call me Burrito” Benanto single-handedly took down a 110 lb girl with a kickball to the face.

Impressive showings were made by all that night (though there were whispers of the use of performance enhancers). MVP Justin Drake once again dominated and AJ Gosselin impressed with several catches and outs. Both Tara Malloy and Anna Dreyser racked up the points catching balls since the ‘announcer’ forgot to call their numbers. And Megan “yeah I just caught that with my face!” Prock managed to shrug off a viscous dog leash whipping to take down the other team.

Special nods to Zach for “switching teams” to ensure equal team numbers, the other team for being so cool and Jerome for playing team mascot for the night. Until next time…

Fresh off our bowling triumph the week before, the Millionaires headed to Threes and Nines for the trivia challenge. After promptly biffing it on the first category — which should have been our ace in the hole — conveniently titled “Music,” we managed to be dumbfounded by one obscure question after another. (Though there was no shortage of patting ourselves on the back when we somehow managed to pull from our collective gray matter that Brian Eno was responsible for the Microsoft start-up sound). It pretty much went that way up until the last round — March Madness!? - where we miraculously got a couple of questions right.

But whatever, in the end we all got schooled by Studio Number One, who apparently got every question in the “Design” category correct (*cough cough*this shit is rigged!*cough cough*). And the rest of us managed to come in a 3-way tie for 2nd (last) place.

But it’s not about whether you win or lose, it’s how good you look while doing it, right? And I think we got that one in the bag:

After trivia, we decided the only thing left to do would be to show Studio Number One who’s boss in a little old school thumb war. And our own Colin was victorious!

Colin demonstrating the classic “fake-out” thumb war baiting maneuver (above) before going in for the kill (below).

The Millionaires, ready for the next adventure.

Team Constant Artists Millionaires rolled into Shatto Lanes last Tuesday (clearly the best lookin’ team in the joint) ready to whup up on some agents, designers, and magazine peddlers. Even though we have no idea whether we won or lost, we’re pretty sure no one had better follow through:

But now for the real business: Agency Group, listen up! We saw you stealing Christine’s beer, and we won’t stand for it. We take our beer very seriously (especially when it’s free - you don’t become a Millionaire by losing track of your free beer). But we digress, Agency Group. We’re getting ready for trivia by sharpening our pencils on our old Lee Scratch Perry records. Book this!

The highlight of the evening though, was little Jack who, at just 4 months, has already inked his first sponsorship deal with Saucony. We couldn’t be more proud - a mini-Millionaire in the making!

The End.

The wind was strong that day, chilling to the bone. But neither the wind, nor the KEXP team, could deter we mighty Bumbershoot Hot Dogs from what we came to the Seattle Center to do: WIN.

As we tossed the ball back and forth before the game, we could feel our blood begin to boil, despite the approaching gusts. Our eyes grew wide, then red, finally retreating to slits as we focused in on our prey and eventual conquest. We knew none could stand in our path, regardless of DJing skills.

We took the field enthusiastically, with impenetrable defenses repelling all KEXP attempts at scoring. This was our field, and we made certain they knew it. With repeated catches, beans, and strike outs, we Hot Dogs set the tone of the game. At bat we were a force. Our line drives and aggressive base running tested KEXP’s limits of how much abuse one orange-shirted team could take.

When Peter ‘Sweet &’ Lowe stepped up to the plate, we knew it was finally over for our record spinning opponents. As he banished the ball into the stratosphere with a hollow thwack, he brought home the solitary run of the game, ushering in our thus-far perfect record.

We only feel sorry for the next team with the audacity to oppose us, for we are less a team now, and more a staunch athletic machine, without weakness or mercy.

Go Hot Dogs!

(Credits: Aubbie, photos / Evan, prose / Mike, nicknames / Shaun, smack talk)